The Love Of A Brother
by tigers-snipers-and-rifles
Summary: AU wherein the line of Durin lives to claim their rightful titles and throne. Fili and Kili have always been close, but after the battle, matters change, as well as feelings and the close relationship between the two stir questions about whether or not it's more than just a brotherly love. Slash. (Durincest)
1. Prologue

It was a cold, bleak evening, one that left a gloomy atmosphere across the mountains and down into the valley where the ruined town of Esgaroth lay. The houses had been burned, the trees and fields now a parched, dry land. Smaug had destroyed the land and buildings, setting everything ablaze. The Lake-men had lost various numbers of their own people, both when Smaug had attacked and during the battle. 'The Battle of the Five Armies', they were supposedly calling it.

Tents had been erected shortly after the damage was done and the goblins and wargs had been brutally slaughtered. Many had given up and disappeared before their fate caught up with them. The bodies found had either been burned, or buried. Most had been unrecognisable. The people mourned, though many still despised Thorin and his company because they believed they had roused the dragon in the first place, bringing havoc to their town and civilisation.

Thranduil and his elves had moved on, refusing to stay. No one could blame them. The town was a wreck. The houses that had not been burned (though there were few) had temporarily been made a haven for belongings that were salvaged. Gold had - reluctantly - been given to rebuild the town in another location (where soils were fertile for the purpose of crops) after the people of the Lake had helped. Both dwarfs and men were working to preserve it now, though most did not work too well together after the rumours. But they were getting there, slowly, but gradually.

It was late before Kili was called for, currently in the middle of his evening meal with the rest of the Company, but for Thorin and Fili. His brother had been badly injured before knocked unconscious by the butt of an axe. It had been two days and still he had not yet awaken. Thorin, on the other hand, was well, but a hand short after a goblin rider had sliced through his wrist. A new one was being forged in the mines, one of gold most claimed, but Kili would find out for himself when it was made.

The brunet moved with Balin through the tents, belonging to men and dwarf. Both the town and mountain were under construction to renew the living standards and inhabit the dwarfs where they belonged, as well as the Lake-men, so they had set up camps for the time being.

"Is it Fili?" Kili asked, concern lacing his tone. He hoped his brother was doing well; the younger of the two had refrained from visiting him too often, afraid of the state Fili had been left in. It pained Kili any time he decided to see him. "Is it bad news?"

"I can't say, lad. I was only instructed by your uncle to fetch you." Balin replied in an amiable tone. Yet there was a hint of grimness to it that did not settle well with Kili. Was Fili dying? He certainly hoped not. His brother was the only real friend he had. Fili was his companion; they had grown up together, inseparable from the day Kili had learned how to walk.

"Uncle didn't say anything more?" He questioned further, quickening his pace in his haste to see his brother.

Balin shook his head, almost jogging to keep up with Kili's longer strides. It was not long before he reached the second largest tent, the first belonging to Bard after the Lake-men had insisted on making him the new lord of their soon-to-be-renewed-town, seeing as their previous had run off with some gold the moment he had gotten his hands on a fair share. Dale would have a new Master.

Inside came voices, Thorin's recognisably being one of them. A gruffer voice spoke, and as Kili pushed through the opening, with Balin following, he found it was Dwalin.

Thorin greeted him, noting the bewildered look his nephew wore. Kili's eyes immediately went to his brother, disregarding the other three older dwarfs within the room. A hand rested on his shoulder, and glancing up, his gaze met his uncle's. "Is Fili going to be all right?" The blood had drained from his face with worry.

"Fili is fine," Thorin reassured. He pulled back, scratching lightly at the stump where his hand had once been. It poked out of his sleeve, and catching Kili staring, he covered it. This was the first he had not worn the bandage to keep it from getting infected. "He should wake soon. He tossed during his slumber."

Kili was a little more hopeful upon hearing that statement. He took a seat on the edge of the bed, his eyes raking over Fili's sleeping form. Dwalin and Balin excused themselves and made their leave after exchanging a few words with Thorin, leaving the three alone. "Kili," he started when the others were out of earshot, frowning thoughtfully. The brunet turned his attention to his uncle, forcing himself to tear his eyes away from his brother and the large bruise that had formed across the right side of his head. Thorin glanced gravely at Fili, then back to Kili again. "The battle was gruesome, as you know. We were outnumbered. Fili suffered a great wound, which is going to affect him."

Kili's brows knotted together. "What do you mean, Uncle?"

"With my accident, I lost my hand. Fili almost lost his life, but he didn't. He's healthy, if just injured. The arrow pierced his leg. He likely will not be able to walk properly on it." Thorin explained. There was silence as Kili gathered his thoughts together. He still did not understand if Thorin was trying to imply something else.

The younger dwarf returned his eyes back to Fili, curiously eyeing the blankets where his legs would be. He was unaware of the wounded one and let out a sigh. Thorin continued, "It's your turn to look after him. He will not be able to do much for himself for sometime. Walking will be difficult. If it turns out worse than thought, well…" he paused, "we may have to think about getting his leg removed."

"_Removed_?" Kili repeated loudly. From beside him, Fili stirred. Thorin was distracted from what he had been about to say as the blond mumbled something incoherent in his sleep. Kili stared at his brother expectedly, his breath catching in his throat as Fili's eyes slowly opened.

"Kili?" He mumbled groggily, grabbing a fistful of the other's shirt to support himself.

"Fili!" Kili said excitedly as he flung himself at his brother, relief washing over him. The elder dwarf let out a weak rasp of laughter upon some of his senses returning, finally noticing Thorin at the bedside a minute or so afterwards when the hug was drawn to a close.

"Uncle." He greeted, shifting to sit himself up. He was instantly held back down again, Kili's hand gently pushing him back to prevent him from getting up.

"Don't. You'll hurt yourself." Kili said softly. He nodded his understanding as Thorin announced his leave to fetch the maester that had taken care of Fili. He would need a further check up.

"I am fine, Brother." Fili insisted stubbornly, a hiss of pain escaping him as he attempted to move his left leg. "Balrogs! That hurts." He saw the disbelieving look he was being given and scowled, ignoring that it seemed to say, 'I told you so'.

Kili fetched a cloth and dampened it in the pail of water at the foot of the bed, pressing the cold material against Fili's burning forehead to cool down his fever. Fili's eyes briefly closed, a fit of coughs suddenly racking his form. He had not eaten in days. Due to that, the weight loss had taken its toll on him. He was thinner than he had been, his collarbones jutting out. His face had lost its colour, now a ghostly pale and sunken in.

"You need to rest." Kili informed, listening to Thorin's advice on looking after his brother. He would do anything without needing to be told twice. Fili needed his help, and if that meant being independent and responsible, Kili would, gladly.

"I'm sick of resting," Fili complained, allowing Kili to tend to him anyway. He appreciated it. His stomach growled, aching horribly. Whilst unconscious, he had only been able to be fed soggy bread and water. It was the only food that he would not choke on. "Get me some clothing, would you?"

Kili obliged, rummaging in the chest and tugging out a pair of breeches and a loose shirt. He handed them over, averting his gaze as Fili threw the blankets from himself. "I thought I would die out there," he admitted after sometime, the clothes forgotten for the meantime. Kili did not look as though he wanted to hear that at all, but Fili felt the need to say. "I thought I wouldn't see Uncle or the rest. But mostly you."

"Fili, don't."

"No, I mean it. If I had died, I would have never seen you again. It was a horrible experience. To not see you one last time was too much to bear. I was foolish, thinking I could take those goblins down by myself. Instead, I could have gotten killed. But I'm awake now, and you're here." Fili reassured himself, as well as Kili. It was good to see his brother, to know he was alive.

Without warning, Kili almost knocked Fili back again, his arms moving around him protectively. Fili returned the embrace, a wave of emotion overwhelming him. Kili was crying first, the tears pooling over his face. "I thought you would leave me here alone, Fili." He sniffed, not caring about the image he was supposed to keep up.

Fili pulled him close, hushing him back to quiet. Kili was trembling against him, every fear he had kept within him for the past days leaving at once. He knew he was expected to look after Fili now because of his bad leg, but that was impossible at the moment. The blond comforted him, brushing the tears away with his forefinger. Kili gathered himself together, inhaling deeply to compose himself. "Get dressed. Then I'll bring you something to eat and braid your hair."

It was not long before both dwarfs were seated on the bed, Fili tearing ravenously at a leg of lamb to make up for the little he had eaten, whilst Kili sat cross-legged behind him, carefully plaiting Fili's hair with slow precision. He smiled fondly when he finished another one, moving onto the next strands of messy blond hair. Thorin came in to check up on Fili's state every now and again, but left soon after each time. Of course, he had important business and matters to see to.

Fili wiped the juice from his mouth and beard with the back of his hand, reaching for the flagon on the stool beside his sickbed. He took a swig of the ale, belching loudly when finished. "Do you think they'll have any more lamb?"

Kili rolled his eyes. "You have already had three servings." Fili grinned at that. He sucked the juice from his fingers, satisfied. Reaching a hand behind his head, he toyed with one of the plaits when Kili swatted his fingers away again. "You'll mess it." He had gone through enough effort without Fili ruining his hair.

The tent flap opened, and striding in came Bofur with a fourth serving of lamb. Fili's eyes lit up with appreciation. "Here you go, lads," Bofur announced, setting the dish beside them. "Thorin would visit, but he is caught up with some matters. Wants ye to eat." Bofur cheerfully clapped Fili on the back as encouragement. "Good to see you awake. Even more so alive." He then gave the two a long, strange look before departing, chuckling quietly to himself.

"What was that about?" Kili asked when alone again, his expression contorting into one of confusion. He did not understand what had been so amusing to Bofur. When Fili picked at a leg of lamb, deliberately ignoring Kili, he bit into it to distract himself. Kili noticed, his brows furrowing. "Tell me." He urged, his fingers pausing with a strand of hair.

Swallowing, Fili sighed. "He thinks it's strange how close we are," he admitted, continuing through a mouthful. "Asked why you braid my hair every morning. I told him it was habit, almost like a routine. You have since my hair was long enough." That was true. Kili had always practised with Fili's hair until he got better. Fili had once offered to do his brother's, but Kili had refused. He liked his hair loose and hanging around his shoulders. He experimented before with braiding it, but it did not look as good as Fili's.

"But we're brothers. Aren't we meant to be close?"

"I believe he thinks we're too close. Must have said something to the rest of the company too. Some have given us the same look."

Kili had not seen, nor realised. Not that he minded. Fili was his brother and he had every right to get along with him. Yet now that he thought about it, they were rather close. Maybe more than that. But surely it was natural. Thorin would have said something if he believed the same as Bofur. And he had not, so Kili took that to be a good thing.

Fili chewed thoughtfully, aware that his brother was in a daydream. "Do they think that - that we're… together?" Kili eventually questioned. Fili almost choked at the thought. Bofur had not said whether he thought that himself or not, but the smirk had been enough.

"Maybe - it's a silly thought, Brother. No need to take it seriously. Bofur was probably joking." Fili said hastily, but Kili would not believe him. The blond regretted telling the truth now, though he did hate to lie to Kili. However, avoiding the truth might have been a better idea.

"When did he say this to you?"

"Before the battle. The morning after we fought with the trolls, actually."

"Why did you not tell me then?" Kili appeared to be hurt by that. His use of tone gave it away. To think that Fili would keep that from him made him upset. Fili turned to him, ignoring his hair. He hated seeing Kili this offended and stricken.

"I thought nothing of it, honestly," he frowned, irritated with himself for that. "Bofur seemed to be joking with me, or so I thought. Then he continued, and only then did I realise -" Fili stopped himself, but Kili would not be put off the subject.

"Realise what?"

"That we're close," the older of the two confessed quietly, "Really close."

Kili considered that thought. He knew himself they were close. One could likely mistake their closeness for a relationship. That must have been why Bofur found it amusing to see the two together. Kili did often catch a smirk from the elder dwarf when himself and Fili were in one another's presence.

"But we're brothers." Kili repeated his earlier statement. He had no better answer.

They were interrupted as Thorin moved silently into the tent. He looked exhausted from organising plans and workers and moving from place to place all day without a minute's rest. "Kili," he started, "Go back to your own tent now. Your brother needs rest."

"I've rested for days, Uncle." Fili complained, but Thorin would have none of it. He crossed his arms over his chest, giving Kili an impatient, expectant stare. Kili got the gist and climbed from the bed, bidding his brother a goodnight as he disappeared into the dark and the biting cold outside. Fili frowned, already missing the company as Thorin waited until he was rested. After a brief exchange of words and small smile, Fili watched as Thorin was not long following his youngest nephew out the tent.


	2. Chapter 1

Sunlight entered the bedroom, the rays stretching out across the floor and onto the bed. The light hit the brunet's face, waking him. His eyes fluttered open, grimacing in the sudden brightness as he allowed his eyes to adjust properly. With a tired groan, Kili tugged the blankets from himself and stretched with a yawn before removing himself from the bed. He quickly gathered some clothing and threw it on, not entirely bothered about his appearance. More than a few times had he scoffed at Thorin for fussing that he should dress like a prince and show an example, but that was Fili's job, or so he liked to believe.

There was ringing from the yard and the sweet song of metal; sword practise. Kili hated having his chambers so close. Grabbing his bow on the journey out, he slung his arrows over his back and ventured down to the main room. Thorin was already there, breaking his fast with Dwalin and Balin. Snatching an apple, he grinned at his uncle and disappeared again, receiving a brief roll of eyes. Thorin bit his tongue from any criticism he had in mind.

Kili moved outside, the clanging of swords louder now. He passed the grounds they were practising on, paying no mind to those swinging their swords about like idiots. Fili was instructing them and giving advice. It had been a few months now from the accident and, despite his fairly bad leg, he could move about almost as good as he had before the battle.

As Kili made his way toward the stables to find his mare, Fili caught sight of him and smirked. "Kili, come here," he called. Kili turned to him, curious, but obliged all the same. "How has your sword practise been going? Yesterday you said you were getting better."

That was a lie. Kili inwardly cursed himself for stating as such. Fili had been continually telling him to practise with a sword, rather than bow and arrow because he 'may need it one day'. Though Kili was quite sure no enemies would attack them as of yet and he was better with a bow. A sword would do him no good. Realising he had hesitated, he answered, "Yes... of course. I have."

"Good," Fili nodded his approval and borrowed a sword from one of his trainees. It was the older and more advanced group today. He tossed it to Kili, but with not paying attention, it bounced off his side and dropped in the dirt. The brunet heard a few sniggers, noticing some of the older dwarfs exchange amused looks or comments with a glance in his direction. "If so, I'd like to see." Fili requested.

Kili was reluctant to pick up the sword. He should have known Fili would do this and in front of his friends did not make matters any better. Lifting it, he almost dropped it again. Its heaviness made it feel off balanced because he was not used to a sword's weight. Gripping it tightly with both hands, he stood stiffly in anticipation.

"One hand," Fili corrected. "A knight uses one, for he may hold a shield in the other if in possession of one. Never two. It does not show bravery, only cowardice."

Kili adjusted the sword to one hand, removing the arrows from his back and setting his weaponry to the side. "I don't want to be a knight." He grumbled under his breath, watching his brother expectedly. The blond advanced, and Kili instinctively moved his sword into the swing. Fili cut low, the sword biting into Kili's shin when he failed to block. He hissed in pain, ignoring the cheers and shouts that erupted in encouragement for Fili. Kili received some jeers.

He aimed for Fili's shoulder, steel ringing off steel as their swords met. Kili backed as Fili stepped forward a pace, forcing him backwards in an attempt to throw him off balance. He succeeded, and within minutes of the fight Kili was thrown to the ground, the sword thudding beside him. The small crowd erupted again. "Guess you did not practise, hm?" Fili's sword was at his throat. "You'd be dead by now." Grinning in triumph, he turned to the others.

Just as he did so, Kili picked up the sword again and in a fit of rage and embarrassment, he slashed at Fili's arm. The annoyance he had been bottling up gradually started leaving him as he struck angry blows at his brother. It took three other dwarfs to drag him off, kicking and screaming insults at the blond. An injured Fili was then helped to the infirmary to get patched up, whilst Kili was trailed to the last person he wanted to see merely minutes after the fight broke out.

After being informed, Thorin was not on good terms with him. When the guards closed the doors and gave them privacy, Thorin gave him a long stare. "I was told you attacked your brother."

"He started it!" Kili immediately retorted.

"Did you or did you not attack him?" Thorin demanded. It took a moment, but Kili nodded a firm yes. His uncle did not look pleased to see that, his eyes flashing with menace. "Why?" Was all he asked of him next.

"He deserved it."

"_Deserved_ it?" Thorin barked a laugh of disbelief. "Fili has been injured once; do you really think he needs you injuring him for a second time?"

"He told me to pick up the sword and challenged me. He knew I couldn't use it properly. Because of him I got laughed at." Kili was seething.

"Is being laughed at worth attacking your brother? He could have been gravely injured!"

Kili's jealousy and anger was provoked by the words. He was sick of the world revolving around his brother because he was the oldest heir and next in line to be king. He hated it sometimes. Fili could bask in all the glory he wanted, and Kili would only be seen as the younger, 'yet to learn his duties and role as a prince' brother. It was not fair.

"Everything's always about Fili, isn't it? He's prince, so it only matters about him being treated like one. Well I don't care," Kili spat. The words were tumbling from his mouth without a second thought. "If he attacked me, it would be self-defence, not an attack. His safety is more important than mine because he's going to be king for being the eldest. I won't be, so I'm not as significant. Maybe the goblin should have killed him after all." With that, Kili stormed from the hall and up to his chambers, ignoring Thorin calling after him.

Once in the room, he slammed the door behind himself, hot tears pricking his eyes from the frustration. When alone, they streamed down his cheeks as he crawled into his bed.

It was an hour or so before anyone made their appearance, that someone being Fili. He silently pushed the door open and entered his brother's chambers, spotting him curled up on the bed. He looked to be sleeping. Fili quietly moved toward the bed, unaware that Kili was, in fact, awake. He just had his back to him. "Kili?" He sat down on the edge, reaching out to shake the other gently. Kili remained still.

Sighing, Fili shifted closer onto the bed, leaning back against the headboard. "Thorin told me what happened. He blames you, but it's really my fault. I told him as much... he won't listen," Fili tugged a blanket around his brother to trap the heat. "I humiliated you out there. I should have let you go. If I had, we would not be stuck in this mess. I'll have Uncle lay off your back. I deserved it. Didn't mean to upset you anyhow." There was a pause before he continued, "Did you mean it? About... about me getting killed? I never know with you anymore, Kili. Since the battle, I have not been able to see you as much. You know, with all the duties and such. It can be a pain."

The elder dwarf was taken aback by Kili turning over and curling into his side. He relaxed, wrapping an arm around the other to soothe him. "I'm sorry, Kili." He added. They had been arguing more than ever lately and in addition, fighting. Fili was aware of how his brother felt.

"You don't have to be," Kili sniffed, clinging to his brother as a form of comfort. "I did not want you to die, not really. Besides, if you had, Uncle Thorin would expect me to be king. I don't want to."

"Oh? That's a first. You're still a prince, though."

"I didn't ask to be, but I guess I have no choice. I'm still glad I will not be king for a reason."

"And what's that?" Fili inquired.

"I don't have to sit about all day with the council and organise boring rules and regulations." Kili smirked.

Fili chuckled lightly at that, settling down. It was not like either of them to hold a grudge against the other, and it seemed now as though they had made up. Kili edged a little closer, resting his head atop the other's chest, soaking up the warmth and comfort. He hated fighting with Fili. It was not that they were not as close anymore, just that they barely saw one another. Being the heirs of Durin was more difficult that either of them had anticipated. The war was won, Erebor and Dale restored, and this was the price they had to pay.

"Look, let me make it up to you, all right?" Fili suggested. Kili glanced up at him, curious. "Israc is planning a party tomorrow. It'll be late; Uncle likely won't allow it, meaning we'll have to sneak out."

"We could get caught, Fili." Kili instantly protested.

"Princes can have fun, can't they? Come on, we will not be caught. He'll be sleeping."

"What about the guards?" Kili was uncertain about the idea. The last thing he needed was getting in trouble with Thorin again.

"I'll figure something out," Fili pulled back and removed himself from the bed. "If you do decide to go, let me know." He smiled lightly and left the room. Kili had certainly been cheered up, and although a party sounded great, it could result in disaster if the plan went wrong.


	3. Chapter 2

It was late when Fili made an appearance for the second time that day, the first being at breakfast. Thorin had refrained from bringing up yesterday's fight after he saw that his two nephews had appeared to have made up and forgiven one another. They always did at some point. It was to be expected sooner or later (though it did tend to be sooner, rather than later).

Kili was in his bedroom when a knock sounded on the door to indicate his brother's arrival. Most of the castle would be sleeping now, all for the exception of the guards. Therefore the two brothers could not afford to get caught. Thorin would throw a fit if he heard word of them sneaking out to places he did not want them. He barely liked Fili's friends as it was; particularly after a previous incident where the blond had ended up in the midst of a fight that had broken out over some small argument. Although they were both at reasonable ages, Thorin still did not trust either very much when it came to alcohol. But they _were_ dwarfs, and for a dwarf, staying sober when alcohol was available was not the easiest task. Most gave in to the temptation, if not all.

Crossing the room, Kili peeled the door back to find Fili standing outside, the hood of his cloak concealing most of his face. He brushed past him, waiting until the door was closed behind before he turned to Kili and spoke, "Ready?" His gaze fell to Kili's bootless feet. The younger dwarf seated himself on the edge of his bed and tugged them on when he noticed the expectant look, reaching for his own cloak and throwing it on. He was apprehensive about leaving, though he refused to admit it and nodded in response.

Fili sent the brunet an encouraging smile and headed out the door, Kili following. The corridor was empty, which enabled them to head toward the stairs without having to be too careful for the meantime. Upon reaching the stairs and peering over the balcony, there were two guards posted at the main doors. That was their best exit.

Not giving a moment of hesitation, Fili descended before Kili had a chance to stop him, receiving immediate attention at the sound of his footsteps. The guards straightened at his approach, surprised looking to see him awake and dressed at such a late hour. "Your Grace," greeted the first with a respectful bow. The second followed his example. Kili neared, his presence noticed when he joined Fili's side. "Beg your pardon, Your Grace, but I was not aware you had business." He addressed Fili.

"I was informed at the last minute, you see," Fili replied, "Now, if you would kindly excuse us, Nawlir. It is urgent."

The guards both nodded their understanding and drew their spears to their chests, permitting access to the doors. Fili and Kili passed under the arch, and when outside out of earshot, Kili turned to the blond with a grin, "You made that look so easy."

Fili smugly smiled to himself at the comment. "They can hardly disobey their future king, can they?"

He had a point. Although, they were more likely to obey Thorin and follow his commands. If he had said anything about forbidding his nephews out, they would have boldly put up more of a fight than they had done merely minutes ago, regardless of the consequences. It was never wise to speak wrongly of the king or princes, but if Thorin demanded it, the kingdom bent to his will. Do otherwise and it would be considered committing treason and could cost a life.

Entering the trees, Kili struggled to see in the darkness that swallowed them. "How much farther?"

"Nearly there." answered Fili.

He was not wrong. After a few turns and winding around various trees that all looked the same in the dark, they reached the outskirts of Esgaroth. The destined cottage was not hard to pick out among many. The candles from inside were blaring, the tunes of flutes and fiddles carrying out across the clearing. A number of voices came from inside as they neared, and some dwarfs were outside conversing as they drank heartily. Fili beckoned Kili to follow him inside where the music and voices were much louder. Kili could barely hear himself think. The majority of dwarfs ignored them as they passed through them, though a large amount of those that recognised them still lifted their heads to watch out of curiosity. Some had only seen them from afar, never mind in the same room. Kili was aware of sets of eyes on him, but paid them no mind.

"Here he is," Israc appeared and pressed a horn of ale into Fili's hands. "I knew you would make it." He grinned, his gaze finally resting on Kili. The mirth disappeared, if only for the slightest moment. Kili knew he was not liked by Israc, and vice versa. The two had never gotten along.

"I'm going to go get a drink." He excused himself before Fili could object. Israc seemed to be pleased by his departure. And to be perfectly honest, Kili was glad himself to get away from the older dwarf to prevent any tension between them. As much as it was clear that they would likely not be friends by a long shot, Kili did not mind too much. It made no matter. It was not that Israc would ever start a fight with him either. Kili was a prince, after all. That thought brought him back to being at the party issue. He knew well he was not supposed to be there; Thorin would certainly never allow it. Yet they were hardly going to be forbidden from having some fun, as Fili had stated.

After finding himself a flagon of wine and a seat, Kili was happy enough to watch on as the others danced and drank. Many were drunk and laughing at their own bad jokes. Kili smiled softly at the sight of a small group exchanging awful puns, thoroughly enjoying himself regardless. He had a full view of everyone and simply watched on in amusement when his flagon was abruptly knocked from his hand on his own accord as someone grabbed his free one.

Kili was tugged to his feet, and, returning to his senses after overcoming his surprise, he realised who had grabbed him. She was shorter than he was, with a mane of auburn hair that fell down her back in a plait. She was well-rounded, with a kind face and dark green eyes. And yet, there was something about her that was familiar, Kili noticed. He had no time to question it, however, as a traditional ballad began playing on the pipes and drums and he was pulled into a dance.

Aware of what it was when he recognised the tune, he clumsily followed the steps, his footing not at its best. He had been a lot younger when he had last heard that same song and the dance was no longer as familiar with him. Fili was a better dancer than he was when it came to the traditional or formal dances.

The dwarf opposite chuckled at him, but it was not unkind. He was spun round, and Kili's smile broadened into a grin as he moved to the left, twirling her under his arm. She knew the dance better than he did as she guided him, giving her encouragement throughout as he finally got the hang of where one foot went or what move came next. He had not realised how much he had been missing dancing once his duties had begun taking up his time.

After what felt like hours, the next song that he had lost count of came to an end. Kili was still grinning, his eyes resting on the young maiden. She smiled shyly, a blush creeping up her cheeks for the first time as she reluctantly released his hand and moved off into the rest of the crowd without another word of where she might be headed. Kili stared after her for a moment before following, his intentions on asking for a name. He had seen her before; perhaps up near the castle.

He was pushing past a few other dwarfs when he crashed into his brother instead, whom had seemed to have had a little more than enough to drink. "Kili," he slurred, clinging to him for support. "Where di' you go? Been lookin' for you everywhere."

With a sigh, Kili slung Fili's arm over his shoulder as he led the elder dwarf toward the exit. He was disappointed to not be able to find the girl, yet looking after his brother and making sure he got back safe was a bigger priority. Emerging into the cold outside, Kili was close to collapsing when Fili leaned all his weight on him. The blond rambled on to himself, some words incoherent. Kili only nodded and made a few comments to show that he was 'listening'. His brother was talking about some female he was obviously smitten over, or so Kili believed as the journey back took longer than expected with Fili being unsteady. The older dwarf did not appear to be aware that they had left the party.

Somehow, Kili managed to sneak past the guards around the back without getting noticed and was not long bringing Fili to his bedroom. Thankfully he had not consumed a large amount of alcohol like his unwise brother had. Kicking the door open with the heel of his boot, he guided Fili to his bed, ignoring the other's protests and requests to have another drink.

"You've had enough as it is." Kili scowled quietly, helping Fili out of his clothes until he was left in his undershirt and breeches. He crouched, carefully easing off the boots and setting them in the corner. Fili stretched his toes with an appreciative sigh, grateful to rest his feet after the long walk.

"You're jus'... fantastic, Kiliii," he trailed off, watching his brother unbutton his shirt. Fili never slept with it on.

Kili continued making complaints at Fili's drunkenness when he was cut off by lips brushing his own after the compliment. He instinctively pulled away, staring at Fili in surprise at his unpredicted actions. He was drunker than he looked, it seemed.

Hastily finishing up, Kili tugged the blanket around the older of the two. He remained silent whilst doing so, his thoughts swimming in his head. Fili had _kissed_ him. Surely it must have been due to his thoughts revolving around whomever he had met earlier.

Pushing it to the side, Kili mumbled a quick 'night' and left for his own chambers, attempting to erase the thought from his memory in the process.

When sober, Fili was bound to forget it ever happened.


	4. Chapter 3

Breakfast that morning was quieter than usual, with their uncle eating in silence at the far end of the long table. He tore his bread into smaller chunks, dipping them into the vegetable soup and chewing thoughtfully on each in turn, all the while never glancing up at his nephews.

The ignorance set Kili at an unease; he had never liked silence, especially one like this. It made him immensely uncomfortable. In such a situation, and to be aware that something was wrong, he tended to find himself looking to Fili for help or some form of reassurance. And that was exactly what he did in that moment, his gaze travelling to his brother who had his head half-swimming in his breakfast instead from exhaustion after how late they had been out the night before.

Fili was unquestionably hungover, and Thorin must have noticed it too, for he now had a habit of checking up on how Fili was coping with his meal and whether or not he had drowned himself in the soup. Hopefully he would mistake it for him being tired or sick.

What nagged at him, however, was the thought of last night, and not just the party. Kili knew it was probably nothing; just a drunken mistake. Fili had not thought about what he was doing before kissing him. It had been brief, but even just the single thought of it had Kili's cheeks tinting a light pink upon remembering the musky taste of ale on his brother's lips as they had met with his own and how - no, what was he _thinking_?

Thorin gave him a curious look at the sight of his youngest nephew blushing, his brows furrowing in confusion. His eyes hinted at curiosity. The two were behaving stranger than what was the norm. Yet he said nothing and returned to his soup. No comments were made. Kili ought to have been grateful his evident embarrassment was not pointed out. But he was far from that. The thought remained. Fili did not have to know. But that was not as reassuring a thought as Kili had hoped for.

It was a long time before any of them spoke a word, that being the first of the morning. And to no surprise, it was Thorin: "Fili, do perk up. You look half-dead this morning."

The blond groaned tiredly in response. It took an effort just to raise his head and meet his uncle's disbelieving look at his next words, "Just sick." He grumbled, pushing a strand of blond hair out of his face with a huff. He took a mouthful of soup, grimacing at the taste, but forced it down all the same, despite the bile that stuck at the back of his throat that threatened to come up. He felt he would retch any second.

"I'm sure you are," Thorin nodded his understanding. "I'm assuming your night was not particularly pleasant, then?"

Fili shook his head.

From the side, Kili watched the conversation exchanged between the two. It did not help his mood in the slightest. He could feel the tension building, yet Thorin showed no sign of what was on his mind. He was good at doing that. It could be that he happened to be in one of his foul moods. After all, running a kingdom was not the easiest burden to carry upon one's shoulders. He succeeded well, however. Many respected him. Others voiced no opinions and kept to themselves. Most of those numbers included the men from Dale, Esgaroth in particular.

The blond was doing his best to avoid talking about the previous night, but Thorin's questioning and comments did not help. "Sleep well?"

Again, Fili shook his head in a small movement. He raised a chalice of water to his lips after abandoning the soup, savouring the refreshing coolness of the chilled beverage as it struggled to slide down his throat. On the bright side, it woke him up a lot more and eased the irritable pain in his throat that stubbornly remained there from the moment he had been woken up by his manservant an hour or so ago. Getting up had been the last thing Fili had wanted, especially with his hangover.

His stomach churned horribly and, lurching to his feet, Fili hastily left the room before the contents of alcohol from the previous night and his soup could be splattered over the marble floors. Thorin watched him leave through the large oak doors, grabbing at Kili's forearm before he could run after him to check his brother was all right. He hated seeing Fili like this, though he knew it was his own fault for drinking large amounts. His gaze drifted to Thorin, guilt consuming his eyes now that they were alone. "Perhaps you can tell me why your brother is not in good health, Kili."

By the time Fili reappeared, some colour had returned to his cheeks. He still looked queasy, but not as much as before. Emerging into the hall, immediately he could tell something was wrong. Kili seemed to be almost on the verge of tears with guilt, Thorin was awaiting his arrival and beside him stood a guard - the same one whom had been posted at the main doors last night. Fili was near ready to throw up again when the realisation hit. Thorin knew.

"Care to explain why you were out without permission?"

Fili looked to Nawlir and the guard simply gave him an apologetic glance in return. As did Kili. Thorin must have leaked the information from the two, but Kili first, which explained why he looked so conscience-stricken. Fili was given no other choice but to admit everything, explaining also that he had brought Kili along without giving him another choice in the matter. However, that did not convince their uncle from letting Kili off, and soon enough the two found themselves under their punishment that Thorin had inflicted upon them. Kili was sent to scrubbing out the bathrooms, and Fili to the stables. Lucky for Fili, he loved horses.

Kili, on the other hand, did not enjoy crawling about on his knees scrubbing vigorously at the tiled floors until he could almost see his reflection. He deserved it, he told himself, regardless of how much he wanted nothing more than to leave it to someone else. It might have been more bearable if Fili had been there for company, but unfortunately that was not the case. "You two have caused enough trouble as it is in one another's presence, so you'll be separated for the meantime." Thorin had stated before giving them their tasks. He had looked very smug about it too.

Dipping the brush into the pail of hot, soapy water, Kili pressed it to the tiles and continued scrubbing. His arm and hand became sore, his knees were aching, his stomach growled after not finishing his breakfast, he had been here for hours and the bathrooms were not more than half finished getting cleaned. It was tedious.

Pausing, Kili wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. He gave a defeated sigh and dropped the brush, already bored out of his mind.

It was evening when Fili found him, scrubbing slowly over the tiles with his head hanging from tiredness. Kili smelled him before he saw him. The elder stank horribly of horses and dung, and just the stables in general. He had muck up to his knees and had somehow managed to get some in his hair. "Put some elbow work into it," exclaimed Fili from behind him with a grin. Kili inclined his head to stare and made a face at both the sight and smell of his brother. Fili frowned, as though he had not noticed. "What?"

"You stink." Kili took his brush and aimed it at Fili, chuckling as it bounced off his chest and the suds drenched him. "Go take a bath."

Protesting, Fili lifted the brush and submerged it into the water before withdrawing it and grasping Kili by his shoulder as he scrubbed at the other's face. "_You_ take a bath." Kili spluttered and pushed back, throwing Fili off balance. He fell back, and seeing his opportunity, Kili snatched the brush back and started cleaning the muck from his brother. Fili made remarks in retaliation, most of his words drowned out by roars of laughter. Kili knew his weak spots.

"Okay, Okay," Fili struggled to catch his breath back, his hands flailing uselessly as he attempted to get Kili off him. "I get it, lay off!" In the midst of his thrashing, his hand whacked the bucket and sent the contents everywhere.

Pulling back, Kili beamed in triumph as the two fell into fits. "No wonder Uncle prefers to keep us apart." said Fili as Kili got up and set the pail upright. He fetched a mop, doing his best to rid the floor of the water. He scowled at Fili, though he was not very bothered. It involved more work, but at least Fili helped to clean up _his_ mess. He did not look any better than he had before, but it was a bit of an improvement.

When finally the two dried the floor as much as possible, Kili sighed with relief. Cleaning had momentarily distracted him, albeit now Fili was flooding his mind once more. The blond took his brother's flushed face for exertion from mopping up, thinking nothing of it. He ran a hand over his face and stretched tiredly. Cleaning the stables had proved to be more tiresome than he had first imagined, but thankfully the stableboy would take care of everything from now on.

Fili smiled at his brother and wordlessly moved to leave the bathroom. Kili had been momentarily daydreaming about the same matter as he had been all day and when aware Fili was leaving, he instinctively reached out to stop him, intending on admitting what he had done and asking whether or not it had been deliberate. The thought was bothering him.

Yet even when he did have Fili's attention, he could not for the life of him bring himself to say anything of the night before. The blond gave him a questioning look, "Something wrong?"

Swallowing hard, Kili shook his head. "No, doesn't matter." He brushed past and out the door, instantly regretting not saying anything, yet glad he had not all the same. _He'll just laugh at me_, he thought sullenly. Perhaps it would be best to not say a word and keep to himself instead; bottling up emotions that he dare not share with the one person he trusted the most.


	5. Chapter 4

The hounds raced ahead, their noses glued to the earth and when one picked up a scent, it threw its head back with a howl, his brothers and sisters joining in before the seven of them loped off further into the trees, tails held high. The ponies followed behind, a dwarf mounted on each with swords, spears, bows and arrows and other hunting weaponry. At the front and leading the party was Thorin's top hunter, Old Cattackler Claeron. The dwarf had gotten such a name years past when he had been hunting a large forest cat. The beast had thrown him off his horse, wrecked his spear, and the hunter had tackled it with nothing but his bare hands, somewhat managing to snap its neck, or so it was believed. From the fight, he now had scar tissue that decorated the left side of his face, starting from his eyebrow and travelling down to the joint where both neck and shoulder met. He wore a leather patch over his left eye, as he had been blinded by the claws that had torn at his face. Many more scars littered his body, and most said hundreds of stitches covered him. As more proof, he had one of its teeth attached to thread that he wore around his neck. And despite the damage done to him, he was as good a hunter as he had ever been and Thorin trusted no one more than Claeron to lead the party in his place.

Bringing up the rear was Kili, with quiver slung over his back. He always took the opportunity to hunt when he could and now was as best a time as most. He might have been joined by Fili, but the elder was accompanying Thorin with the counselling. "A king always has time for his people," he could hear his uncle saying. _Not that I'll be king_. _Fili will have that burden to carry. _

Nearby, there was a faint rustling in the brush. Reaching behind his head, Kili extracted an arrow and placed it against the string of his bow. The pony whinnied and his prey erupted from the brush in a panic at the noise before it stopped abruptly as the arrow pierced its stomach in one swift, effortless movement.

Kili clambered off his pony and went to retrieve his prize, scooping the limp hare up by its long ears. Its glassy eyes stared at the dwarf as he examined it, then returning to the pony, he attached it onto the saddle and trotted after the others. It would be quicker if they split up, but Claeron insisted they stay within the group. Kili was already straying and considered the thought of moving off on his own just as the hounds barked furiously and one of the dwarfs blew the horn to signal prey. They were closing in on something.

The brunet took his opportunity then, tugging on the pony's reins to direct it off the path and into the trees, all the while making sure no one had spotted. By the time he got deeper into the trees, the hunting party was long gone by then, or so he believed. Kili was glad to get rid of them. He was sick of listening to Simeon boast about a boar he once rode down, or Wal complaining about his bloody saddle sores.

He had a preference for hunting alone, though Fili was always welcome. Perhaps not now, however. Kili still could not bring himself to confess to him about the kiss. It was on his mind more oft than late, but what Kili felt, what emotion it was, he could not quite place. He knew to confide in Fili eventually, but hours would turn into days and days into months.

A bird hastily taking flight from a tree caught his attention. Kili glanced around, lost as to where he was. Amidst his daydream, the pony had led him deeper into the heart of the woods. Prey was nearby. The pony was first to sense it and shifted uncomfortably under Kili's weight.

The dwarf hopped off, taking an arrow from his quiver and fixing it in place. Slowly, he crept to where a snuffling could be heard. A twig snapped under his feet as he approached and the source of the noise padded into view with a flash of orange. Kili struck it in the leg, sending the fox sprawling as it barked - a warning of danger. Kili recognised the sound.

He slid a dagger from his side and put the animal out of its misery, hanging the vixen beside the hare. He always hunted better alone. The hounds always scared everything off.

He carried on further whilst leading the pony by the reins, brought to an abrupt stop when jaws closed around his ankle. Kili let out a yelp, his knees buckling underneath him. He collapsed, gaze resting on the metal clamps enclosed around his flesh that stuck up from the surrounding leaves. Bear-trap. A curse left his lips alongside an intake of breath when he made an attempt to move.

At the scent of blood, the pony panicked, threw back its head with another whinny and galloped off in the direction they had come, abandoning the dwarf. Kili's breaths became ragged, grimacing from the sharp pain that bolted up his leg. He reached down, both hands on either side of the cold jaws as he prised them apart with as much strength as he could muster. However, the effort was not enough and his hands were now sticky and covered with warm blood. His own blood. The bear-trap slipped from his fingertips and again bit into his ankle, burying deeper into the skin as Kili cried out in agony. He was losing too much blood and improvised, tearing the hem of his trouser leg and applying pressure to the wound. It soaked up the blood, staining Kili's trembling, clumsy hands and the fabric a dark, sickening crimson.

Panting, he tried once more to slip his leg from the bear-trap, but to no avail. This time he could have sworn the metal teeth scraped bone when they imprisoned his ankle after a second attempt.

The trees were spinning. Far off, he could hear a murder of crows calling to one another from the branches. _A sign of death_, Kili thought bitterly. That was the last thing he needed. If he died here, he would rot. Then his body would never be found.

He could almost taste the blood in his mouth. His ankle was throbbing and shifting it, he hissed and shuddered. Bad idea.

Sitting up straight, Kili wished his head would stop swimming And rubbed his forehead. He lay down, though there was not much difference. Somewhere, he imagined the sound of a horn, the hunting horn, and the trumpeting of hooves. The dogs barked in chorus, and from that thought, Kili took comfort in the sound. _They're coming_, he thought miserably, and with that, a darkness swept over and claimed him.


	6. Chapter 5

His brother was alive, but suffering. That much the maester could tell them. Thankfully the wound had been treated in time so as not to fester, but that alone was not enough to suffice as information. Or so that was Fili's opinion.

They had found Kili alone. _He could have died and no one would have been there to comfort him. Least of all me_. Fili silently cursed himself. Trust Kili to go off by himself and get into trouble. He always did one way or another. _My foolish little brother, much too stubborn and vain to see his own fate. He wouldn't realise it if it smacked him across the face_. Fili sighed. The stubborn and vain little brother that he loved. _My own blood_.

Well, that stubborn and vain brother of his was only barely ever conscious at all - if he woke, and those times were few - or alive for that matter. If the hounds had not picked up his scent, he could have been dead by now. Fili should have been there. Thorin should have asked someone else to counsel in Fili's place. His own place was at his brother's side.

If given enough thought, he would have assumed Kili would sneak off elsewhere. He knew his brother better than anyone. The younger dwarf loved to do nothing more than prove himself to others. And prove himself he had, as a reckless dolt that walked on two legs - one that worked and the other that could have lost a foot. Thorin would likely not allow him to hunt outside the grounds for months now after that incident.

Their uncle had not taken the news well. He was assigning a guard to be at Kili's side at all times, aside from when he was not required. Fili knew well his brother would despise that, being followed around as though he were an owner with his dog. Kili was always alone more oft than not and that was how he liked it. Fili's presence he accepted, but others? Not so much.

"Your Grace?" The maester appeared at his elbow. He was small for a man, with lined skin and he was sporting a bald patch, leaving only a few wisps of grey hair to cover his pink, speckled scalp. They had assigned him to the job after he left Laketown to serve the king. "The young prince has awaken and wishes your company."

_Kili_. Fili thanked him and entered the chambers alone. Propped up on numerous pillows was his brother, looking a little better due to the treatment and ointments he was receiving. Many vials and bottles littered the bedside table containing liquids of greens and blues and reds. Some were colourless, whilst others had a colour that Fili could not quite place.

The blankets only partially covered Kili, his injured leg being the only body part visible besides his head. He had created a nest from them to keep himself warm and the cold at bay. To Fili, the room was stuffy and warm, enough to make him sweat if he remained long enough, but with Kili's fever, he needed them, otherwise he would start shivering.

Crossing the room, Fili smiled in greeting and seated himself on the edge of the bed. Kili looked weary and exhausted. He was pale, despite the attention he was getting, and when he shifted his weight he grimaced from the pain with a hiss. "How long was I asleep?"

"Some few hours. How do you feel, Brother?" Fili's eyes rested on the bandaged wound. First his own leg after the battle, and now Kili's. Thankfully neither legs had been in need of an amputation. A saw through his leg was an unpleasant thought.

"Painful." Kili smiled weakly. He was braver than he looked.

Lifting a cloth off the bedside table, Fili tenderly wiped the other's brow. A flush crept up Kili's cheeks to the tip of his ears, adding some colour to his ghostly pale complexion. Fili pulled his hand back. "Are you all right?"

Kili nodded hastily and averted his gaze. "Fine."

"You're lying." Fili had been with Kili long enough to know when he lying. They had grown up together. He knew his brother's traits, his different expressions and tone of voice. And Kili never looked at him directly when he lied. "You can tell me."

Kili sighed in defeat. "Remember... Remember what you said about Bofur? How he thinks it's strange how close we are?" Fili had admitted that back when he was injured. Now Kili was in his place.

"I remember."

"And the party?"

"I remember that too." Fili gave his brother a questioning look. He did not understand what he was trying to tell him.

"Well, you got drunk. Do you recall when I brought you home and to your chambers?"

Fili thought for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts about that night. He remembered arriving, getting one or two drinks... or several. Then some maiden had caught his attention. He had had more drinks. And from there, Fili was unsure about the following events. "No."

The brunet blushed harder at his thoughts. "Youkissedme." He blurted all at once, the words strung together to form one large one. It took Fili a moment to comprehend what had been said.

When he did, he hesitated. He must have thought it had been the girl he had met. Kili had been keeping it to himself, which explained why he had been acting so strangely around the blond recently.

Kili was uncomfortable and the shade of beetroot, his eyes on his injured leg. "I didn't want to tell you in case you hated me."

"I don't hate you." Fili replied quickly, shocked that Kili would even think that and believe it. "You're my little brother. That I love. You're a fool to think otherwise, Kili. When the hunters came to say they had found you injured, I panicked in front of the whole court. It took three guards to restrain me from going to you when they brought you to the maester. Even Uncle was not to be permitted into the room."

Although he was listening, the first part was what caught him off guard. Kili beamed. For all his worrying, it had been for nothing. Fili was not mad at him. Or at least for something he had done.

Fili slipped his hand into Kili's as a form of comfort. "You have no reason to fret." He smiled.

Using his brother's hand, Kili pulled Fili into a hug. The blond gladly accepted, his arms curling around the other dwarf with a sigh. He wondered if Kili had felt this way when he had been injured because the elder had not taken any of this well so far. Without warning, hot tears pricked at his eyes and pooled over. Upon noticing, Kili recoiled in surprise. His grip tightened and he murmured some consolation in an attempt to calm his brother down.

Fili remained there for sometime in his brother's arms, allowing all his stress and worry out of his system. He had been under pressure a lot too and it was a relief to get everything off his chest.

Pulling back a little, he contemplated getting up, but decided he did not want to. His eyes met Kili's when his daydream subsided, watching him with a fond smile. "I shouldn't be crying. It's silly and for children."

Kili snorted. "You're not made of stone, Fili."

The blond shrugged. Thorin would say otherwise. He would say crying was childish and that princes should not show weakness. Maybe that was what was wrong with him. He loved his brother too much.

The younger dwarf closed his eyes. He was growing drowsy again after the maester had given him some horrid medicine. He was about to speak again when he was taken aback by Fili's lips against his own, as though imagining the first time. Yet when his eyes fluttered open, Fili was still there, and _kissing_ him of all things.

Kili responded, if only for a few seconds as Fili pulled back. He had even shocked himself. Clearing his throat, the older dwarf climbed from the bed. Now he was the one blushing. "Get some rest. You'll need it." He smiled awkwardly and left to fetch the maester, his cheeks burning.


End file.
